Change

It feels weird not waking up for college, true today I wouldnt start until half 12 but still... I dont think its quite hit me yet that I've completely finished college. Like finito. I know I have University to look forward to (ha!) and I'm still gonna see everyone but, hmm... I'm an "adult" but I dont feel like one. I'm not mature enough, clever enough, or even posess the right common sense of one. It bewilders me how people got from school to their everyday life. Am I missing something inbetween? Did they do something I'm supposed to do? I should be cheering at the fact that I have 3 months of complete freedom but the feeling is not completely intact. I'm afriad to waste away days doing nothing and eating junk. I vowed today that I would cut out all chocolate with the exception of friday. I've done it before, so I'm sure I can do it again. My willpower really needs a serious kick up the ass. I only discovered that only a few of my friends are even going to university, and even those are thinking of putting it off until next year to go travelling. I'm seriously tempted by this idea. A mate of mine wants to go to Australia for a few months and is hinting that I should take the voyage with her. I'm deliberating slightly... I mean I'd love to go but if I do put off university until next year I have this feeling that I'll scrap it entirely. Its weird because I never was the one to plan on uni, always relying on the idea of working but now that I do work (part time admittedly) and with the whole "modelling thing" going on I'm surprised that I'm staying adamant about my education. Ha. Listen to me, I sound all grown up and whatever. Move on. It's sunny, I woke at half 10 with the sound of my mum leaving the house, I have absoloutly nothing to do today except trying to get rid of this headache that has been pursuing me for the last day and a half and maybe, if I get inspired, I can continue my writing... yeah *snort* like that'll happen.